Unmasking the Imposter: Why this conversation matters for women in our Second 50

Something powerful has been happening inside Second 50 since our October Sage Advice Live on Navigating Imposter Syndrome When We Are Stepping Into Something New

What’s happening is this: Women have been showing up in our community circles, naming their Imposters out loud, describing them in colour and character, and even laughing about them together. A few women have sent me emails with drawings that bring their Imposters to life.

It’s so good to see women recognising and understanding the noisy Imposter voice in their heads. That one that says: “You’re not ready,” “Who do you think you are?” or “What if you fail?”.

That so many Second 50 women are benefitting from this session confirms what I already know: that doesn’t take experienced women long to understand! After gaining some wisdom from women who shared their knowledge, they are now approaching things differently. Instead of shrinking back from their future, they know how to recognise their Imposter voice, ask better questions of themselves, and consciously move forward.

The Science of the Imposter

Imposter Syndrome isn’t a flaw in us or our confidence. It is our brain’s way of keeping us safe. However, as our Sage Advice Live panel — Renaye Thornborrow, Wendy Hall and Annie Harvey— and made clear, if we don’t know what’s going on inside our head, and how to manage it — it can hold us back.

When we step into anything new — a career change, a creative project, a new business, or even a new life role — our brains create what founder and CEO of a children’s wisdom coaching business called Adventures in Wisdom, Renaye Thornborrow calls The Gap. The Gap is the space between where we are and where we want to be.

Our neural pathways haven’t yet caught up, so the brain sounds an alarm that says: “Am I safe?”.

As human beings we are hard-wired to want to belong. “Once upon a time, being cast out of the tribe meant being eaten by the sabre-toothed tiger,” Renaye says. “So, when we step into a new identity or role and don’t yet feel that sense of belonging, our brain interprets it as unsafe.”

That is one reason why Imposter Syndrome can feel so powerful — it is happening on both a conscious and subconscious level.

Our inner alarm shows up in lots of ways, such as self-doubt, over-preparation, or the fear of being “found out”. It causes anxiety, risk-avoidance and procrastination.

Renaye often sees the impact of Imposter Syndrome in skilled educators she trains to become children’s life coaches, with a methodology that has been proven over and over across 15 years. “Women who are completely confident in the classroom suddenly freeze when representing themselves in a business,” she says.

But our new identity is claimed, not given. “It is something we grow into through conscious thought and action,” Renaye says. “Each time we take a small step, we are literally strengthening new neural pathways in the brain, teaching it that this new version of us is safe.”

Why This Matters So Much Now

Imposter Syndrome can surface for anyone, but for some women in our Second 50, the simple act of speaking up or stepping forward can feel really big.

Our Imposter voice can also be mixed up with messy transitions — such as new life stages, shifting relationships and roles, or stepping back into a bigger world after caregiving, health, or career breaks. On top of that, our sense of selves are  layered with gendered ageism and decades of social conditioning about how women “should” show up. No wonder so many of us hold back, and that our Imposter voices can feel deafening at times.

This is exactly why exploring this topic in a safe space like Second 50 is so important. If women can learn and share about Imposter Syndrome, we can encourage one another to stop polishing our readiness and, instead, start amplifying our brilliance.

My Imposter

During Wendy Hall’s fantastic ‘Meet & Befriend Your Imposter’ exercise, I recognised some traits of my own imposter for the first time. The first name I tried out for her was Apple Apologiser, but she’s now called Bad Apple — shiny on the outside but easily bruised. Bad Apple whispers that I’m not ripe yet, and that it’s safer to stay hidden away on the apple tree. Now that I recognise what Bad Apple is trying to help protect me from,   I have her pinned up in my office and can remind her gently that I am, in fact, ripe and ready to fall from the tree, and take my place in the sun.

Other women who shared their Imposters have let me know how they are moving forward despite them, turning their new knowledge into positive action. From updated social media profiles and posts or reaching out to new business partners, women have been showing up to share real steps they are taking, despite their Imposter, toward the futures they want.

A Few Ways You Can Understand and Navigate Your Imposter:

Here are a few practical ways — drawn from our Sage Advice Live session (which Second 50 women can watch on-demand) — to navigate your Imposter when it shows up:

1. Draw it, Name it, Know it.
   Give your Imposter a face and a name. Ask what it is protecting you from. When you recognise it’s trying to keep you safe, you can thank it and move forward anyway.

2. Shift the Power.
   Replace “I’m not ready” with “I’m learning and growing each day.” Instead of hearing “I’m scared”, try “I’m stretching outside my comfort zone and building new neural pathways.”

3. Track Your Proof Points.
   Keep a Fab Folder or Success Jar filled with evidence of your wins and gratitude to yourself. This is a great way to rewire your brain for confidence.

4. Trust the Process.
   If you are trying a new role that is backed by expert training — like Dementia Doulas or Wisdom Coaching — you can trust the process, the framework, and world-class training that got you to where you are. Let experience and confidence grow from taking action and doing your role.

5. Talk About It in a Trusted Circle.
   Second 50’s Possibilities Lab and our Connection Circles are examples of safe spaces where you can name your Imposters and share other fears and your dreams. Or you can come just to listen to others and realise we all have the same doubts. Sharing reflections normalises what we too often carry alone.

6. Take Action.
   Don’t wait to feel ready. Readiness grows from doing, not from waiting. What questions would you ask a good friend? “Is this important to you?” “Does it align with your WHY?” “How can you get started?” “What can you learn along the way?” are better questions than, “Are you ready yet?” or “What if something goes wrong?”

Your Imposter May Not Disappear, But You Can Learn To Manage It

Annie Harvey admitted that, the more successful she is, the bigger her Imposter gets. Gordon the Gecko, sits on her shoulder, whispering self-doubt mid-sentence. Annie has learned not to silence him, but to smile and say: “Thanks for trying to protect me, Gordon — but I’ve got this.”

Wendy Hall’s impostor’s is Nagatha Christie. “I picture her with a magnifying glass, analysing every move and saying things like: ‘Are you sure you should be doing that?’ or ‘Someone else would probably do it better.’ She’s always looking for clues that I’m not good enough.”

I have been so inspired and excited to hear stories from women who are no longer hiding their Imposters. If your Imposter shows up please remember: You are not broken, just human.

Once you work out what your Imposter looks and feels like, and what it is trying to protect you from, you will probably find that the world doesn’t need a more qualified version of you. Just the real one — who is ripe and ready to take her place in the sun!

Second 50 members can access the recording of this Sage Advice Live session, connect with the women who co-created it and additional learning resources co-created on this topic by our community.

Our inspiring panel of Second 50 women have all lived it, and now teach their communities about this topic.


Renaye Thornborrow Thornborrow – is the founder of Adventures in Wisdom and has been certifying and supporting hundreds of coaches, in over 30 countries, to bring mindset skills to kids through storytelling. She is on a world-wide mission to inspire and empower kids to own their magnificence, to go for it in life, and to reach their fullest potential.

Wendy Hall – is the founder of Dementia Doulas which includes a training college, community and registered Australian charity, all designed to better meet the needs of people impacted by advancing dementia. Wendy has a growing community of qualified Dementia Doulas, who are supporting, informing, educating, liaising and providing advocacy for individuals and families living with dementia (from diagnosis to post-bereavement).

Annie Harvey – is a wellbeing educator with a diverse portfolio career, which includes helping teams and leaders perform at their best as an energising speaker and laughter yoga leader. She is also the author of three books, a TedX speaker, Dementia Doula, and Giggle Game and app creator. Learn more at The Still Effect.