Dr Martha Druery shows why renewal is a better way to give
Second 50 is full of women who have spent decades giving — to work, family, community, and causes we care deeply about. We are women who give a damn. But too often, in the process of doing so much for so many others, we leave ourselves running on empty.
We push through fatigue. We quiet the inner voice that says this isn’t sustainable. We believe — sometimes stubbornly — that if what we’re doing matters enough, we’ll always find a way to keep going. But that is not only untrue, it’s unhelpful.
The myth of the bottomless well
So, it was a gift to welcome Second 50 woman, Dr Martha Druery to present our most recent Sage Advice Live on the topic, Giving from Overflow. With qualifications in psychology, social work, a PhD, and decades of experience in traumatic injury and bereavement care, Martha shared both her professional expertise and a personal story of burnout and renewal — the foundation of her science-backed Overflow approach to sustainable self-care.
She described the slow toll of emotional labour, people-pleasing, and relentless responsibility. And how many women burn out not from one huge event, but from the steady drip of daily demands.
"Sometimes it’s the quiet, steady drip that wears us down," Martha said.
And crucially, she reminded us: depletion is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign of being human.
When enough is enough
Martha shared her own turning point — a time when saying “yes” to everyone around her left her physically and emotionally drained. Despite her professional expertise, she had pushed past her limits.
Eventually, her body said no — and it was that moment that helped her realise something had to change. To continue helping others, she had to learn how to help herself first.
A simpler, more sustainable approach
Martha now supports others to make the same shift. Among other things, she shared a simple, yet powerful Three Cs framework:
Conscious Awareness: Notice when you’re drained instead of powering through.
Curiosity: Ask “What’s really going on here?” instead of judging yourself.
Compassion: Offer yourself the same kindness you give to others.
This change in mindset can be the start of something big — a way to stop the self-criticism cycle and start treating yourself like someone worth caring for.
Refuel with small, daily practices
Martha also shared some practical tools (full tools inside Second 50) that Second 50 women can use right away:
1. Emotional Journaling with the Feelings Wheel
Martha taught us a technique to "be with ourselves" in moments of vulnerability. Use two coloured pens — one for your calm, wise voice and another for your vulnerable self. Name what you’re feeling. It’s a way to process emotions without judgement and bring clarity to your internal world. The full step-by-step guide is in Second 50.
2. Daily Mind Medicines
Martha introduced some simple and natural ways we can boost our brain chemicals throughout our day — dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins — all help lower cortisol and calm our stress response. Martha’s Daily Dose Tracker and full step-by-step guide is inside Second 50.
These aren’t luxuries — they’re fuel.
A different way to give
Learning to give from a place of energy and joy is not indulgent. It’s essential.
Because the world needs what women have to give — and we deserve to give it in a way that doesn’t cost us our health and happiness.
It starts with the choice to stop pushing through, and start filling up.
About Martha and Overflow
Dr. Martha Druery is the founder of Australia’s only private practice specialising in traumatic injury and bereavement care. With professional qualifications in psychology, social work, and a PhD, Martha is also the creator of the Overflow methodology and runs programs that help changemakers — such as healthcare workers, human rights lawyers, and other professionals dedicated to improving lives — give from a place of abundance, not depletion. Her unique ‘strategic self-care system’ was developed from 30 years of frontline work, combined with cutting-edge neuroscience and epidemiology research, and inspired by her own desire to live a life of purpose and joy. Through her work, Martha empowers herself and others to fill their cups so they can lead lives of purpose, sustainability and joy. Second 50 is collaborating with Martha to make overflow more available to women who care.